Inside

I believe all of us have passions deep within our heart.  Deep within our soul.  I believe too often in life, we either neglect our passions by ignoring them, or we simply allow the business of life to drown them out.  I personally have done both.  But as I grow older, experience life more, and continue to mature as a young man, all I really want to do is follow and live out my passions.  Is there more to life than this?  If something excites you, challenges you, fires you up, is that not good?  Is that not what life is about?  Inside of me, the passions that are burning are training and youth.  I love to train.  I love to push myself, test myself, and do what others won’t.  Physical training has been such an integral part of my life for so long, it is who I am and what I love.  The physical training in my life has taken on many forms over the years.  I have even stopped physical training for a four year period, but I always find myself back in the training game eventually.  I have trained for sport, powerlifting, bodybuilding, distance running, and for life. At times, my training has been weights dominant.  At other times, there have been little to no weights.  Again, when I have set aside the weight training, I always find myself coming back to it.  There is something about the iron game that is woven deep into my DNA.  Youth.  The next generation.  There are so many youth in our world, in our country, who are hurting.  Struggling.  Desperate for help, encouragement, and love.  As an educator, I see first hand how messed up our youth are, how messed up their families are, and how easily they are influenced by the world’s negativity.  Our youth are the next leaders.  The next CEO’s, doctors, nurses, business men and women, teachers, coaches, military personnel, firefighters, police officers, and entrepreneurs.  Our youth are in trouble.  They are being led astray.  They need positive role models.  They need real leaders, real examples, real men and women to show them the way.  They need discipline and accountability.  My heart yearns to help.  My heart burns to be a part of raising up the next generation.  Training and youth.  Training has changed my life.  Youth have changed my life.  I want to give back.  I must give back.  I want to use training to teach youth.  To show them the way.  It won’t be for everyone.  I get that.  I’ve seen and experienced that within my own life.  But it can definitely be for some.  And it can definitely alter the destiny of those who buy in.  I am waiting.  Waiting for the door to be opened.  The passion is there.  The fire is burning intensely.  Patience is the answer.  Patience is the process.  It will happen.  The door will open.  Lives will be changed.  I can’t wait.  

They Don’t Understand

It’s ok if they don’t understand.  It’s understandable.  Understandable that they don’t get it.  They don’t grasp it.  They can’t wrap their mind around it.  You are walking down a different path.  You are walking down the less-traveled path.  The difficult path.  You have been created and called to live a different life.  You have chosen to live this life.  Each day, you continue to choose this life.  This is who you are.  This is who you want to be.  You can walk away from this life at any time.  You can quit.  You can choose to live another life, someone else’s life.  You can choose another path.  But you know deep within your soul, you can’t, you won’t, and you honestly don’t want to.  This less-traveled path you are walking down, the difficult path you have chosen to take, it drives you.  It burns within you.  It separates you.  It gives you meaning.  Purpose.  Focus.  Although at times this life is lonely, and at times exhausting, it is worth it.  It will be worth it.  Eventually, people will see.  People will be encouraged.  People will follow.  Eventually, your time will come to an end.  You will pass the baton to another.  The example you have set, will continue.   Today, you continue on.  Quietly, humbly, aggressively.  Your light is shining brightly.  

Chop The Tree

The axe is clean.  The axe has been sharpened.  It is ready for use.  I take my axe, and set out to find the largest tree.  No one is around.  The sky is clear, pure blue.  The sun shines brightly, the heat is intense.  I stand shirtless, axe in hand, focused on the task before me.  It is time.  I begin to chop.  One chop at a time.  This will be a very long process.  Once chop at a time.  One chop at a time.  I get into a rhythm.  One chop at a time.  One chop at a time.  Eventually, my axe will prevail.  I will prevail.  Patience, endurance, and strength are of utmost.  Keep chopping.  Keep chopping.  The tree will fall.  Keep chopping.

Rebuild #2

A little over two years ago, I was discharged from the Navy.  At that time, I came out of boot camp fat, and out of shape.  I very rarely find myself in this type of physical state.  I hate it.  It’s not me, who I am, or who I want to be.  Before I shipped off to boot camp, I had competed in my first bodybuilding show and had been training like a mad man.  After my discharge, I found myself in Urbandale, IA, living with my sister to help care for her ailing Father.  Once I got my bearings back, it was time to  get back on track physically.  Enter rebuild #1.  I had to rebuild myself from the bottom.  Within a short time-frame, I lost close to 30 lbs. and regained my desired physical state.  Fast-forward to the present.  I moved to Colorado Springs in the summer of 2017, and have mostly been focusing on endurance type training.  I find myself now, in another rebuild.  Rebuild #2.  The endurance training has led me down a path of overtraining, undereating, and with over-use injuries.  I have neglected strength training and am once again, physically speaking, in a place I do not want to be in.  I am not healthy.  I cannot continue in this direction.  I am shifting.  I have already made the shift.  I am going back to my first love, the weights.  I am rebuilding my physique.  Rebuilding my training, nutrition, and mindset.  It’s not about being hardcore.  It’s not about being crazy.  It’s not about ego or pride.  It’s not about “look at me.”  It’s about health, vitality, longevity, and above all else, being a healthy example to the next generation.  A healthy leader.  Someone to follow.  I want to be the best I can be.  I want to be the best example, leader, and man that I can be.  I want to lead by action, not by word.  I want to be a physical example.  Looking the part.  Living the part.  I want to continue to learn, grow, and teach.  Rebuild #2 has begun.  I have to change, if I want to see others change.  I have to be open, and willing myself, first, and always.  This rebuild is about endurance.  The long-game.  Taking one step in the right direction, one day at a time.  I am committed.  Committed to this marathon.  Committed to the micro, rather than the macro.  Committed to training, eating, and living differently.  I am excited.  I am expectant.  Rebuild #2 will be the beginning of, is the beginning of, something new, fresh, and BIG.  Rebuild #2 is a re-birth.  A re-alignment.  An absolutely necessary life adjustment.  I am coming back.  Back to the basics.  Back to simplicity.  Back to what I know, who I am, and who I want to become.  I am coming back to the first love.  I am all in.  It is time.  It is mine for the taking.  I WILL TAKE IT.

Detach

Remove yourself from your feelings and emotions.  Step outside of yourself in order to think, see, and hear clearly.  Too often, we are lost in ourselves.  Lost in our feelings, emotions, anxieties, fears, and sorrows.  Too often, we can’t get past the inner self, in order to accomplish the tasks to reach our full potential.  We need to detach.  We need to learn to detach.  We need to learn to let go.  We need to understand that mistakes, mishaps, and failure are all a part of the life process.  Never to be avoided, but mistakes, mishaps, and failure should be expected, accepted, and learned from.  You are not perfect.  You will never be perfect in this life.  Perfection and the pursuit of, is myth.  Unattainable.  Do not strive for perfection.  Rather, strive for growth.  Strive for maturity.  Strive to become a better you, TODAY!

Fake

There are a lot of fake people in this world.  Fake in what they say, fake in what they do, and fake in how they portray themselves.  It’s pathetic.  People are trying to be something or someone in order to gain some kind of recognition.  In order to gain some sort of financial backing.  In order to gain some passing glory.  People mask themselves behind whatever they think may provide the gain that they are looking for.  People will do whatever it takes in order to elevate themselves above everyone else, even if it means they have to become fake to do so.  The gain in this life is all temporal.  Remember that.  Whatever gain you accrue in this life, eventually, it will all be left behind.  Our time on this earth is but for a short period.  Are you really going to spend your time being fake, in order to gain that which is temporary?  Are you really going to waste your energy, efforts, and gifts on being fake?  People need to wake up.  People need to realize they can get away with being fake for a time, but in the end, when you live a lie, the truth emerges.  Quit being fake.  Quit trying to put on a front.  Quit wasting time.  Quit wasting your life.  Quit following the crowd.  Get over yourself.  Step out from behind the mask.  Step out from the shadows.  Step into the light.  Be the individual you know you should be.  Be the man.  Be the woman.  Be the person that is about others, and not yourself.  Be real.  Be genuine.  Be strong.  Be bold.  Live your life, not someone else’s.  

Inside

This is what is inside of me right now.  Deep within.  Deep within my soul, my spirit, my inner man.  It’s brewing.  It’s burning.  It’s been brewing.  It’s been burning.  I can’t ignore it.  I don’t want to ignore it.  I know it is who I am.  I know it is what I am.  I know this is how I am to live my life.  I know this is the path I am to take.  I have to wait patiently.  I have to wait for the right time.  I have to allow life to unfold.  The burning inside of me is to live as lowly, simply, and minimally as possible.  To physically train as a man possessed.  And finally, to help in whatever capacity possible, hurting, Fatherless youth.  This is it.  This is what is inside of me.  The fire burning so intensely.